Calvin The Second

I’m swamped with corn drying and work right now so I’ll throw out a little tidbit until Saturday when I do my darndest to give away five-hundred smackers. Read the rules on the blog menu. I’ll throw out a little family happenings until Saturday’s post.

I’ve got a brother that farmed back in the day. Things didn’t go all that great. Bad stuff like weather, market prices and bankers. Being a brother to me probably didn’t help.

So after a stint with 70 acres of asparagus and an orchard full of apples and cherries, he bagged the farming itch until he could afford to get back in it at a later time and lose some more money.

He next sold life insurance. I bought a policy from him. My wife is still waiting to collect. She agreed to me buying it because she thought she would be collecting right away. She grumbles every time she writes out a check for another premium.

Back to brother Brent. He hated the cold calls and getting doors slammed in his face. After several broken noses, he quit that gig too. Looking around at other dead-end jobs, he ended up at the bottom of the barrel and worked for me for a bit. It didn’t take him long to see that he had just gotten on a slow train to Loserville. I’ve been on that train for decades and it seems like I got there pretty darn fast.

He sensed he was at a critical crossroads in life. And so…

He did a quick about-face, scooped up his four young’uns and his drop-dead gorgeous wife, loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly.  Hills, that is, swimming pools, movie stars, I mean, Buffalo, New York. At thirty-five years of age, he switched careers for the fourth time and went to dental school.

Ten years or twelve years later, they’re back. And there’s eight of them now whereas there were six when they left. It is so handy to have him around. Every time I need another tooth pulled, I just drop in and say howdy. In order to say howdy, I have to open my mouth. When I open my mouth, he stares at the void and says: “I think we better pull that sucker.”

I don’t mind because it’s pretty cheap dental service. All it costs me is a tooth.

He learned to do this free service as part of his schooling. He would go to the hills of Kentucky and Virginny and pull teeth. People would come in with a mouthful of rotten calcium and leave with a mouthful of straight oxygen. He said they appreciated the service.

Brent’s wife is named Kashann. This is a true story…

Kashann had a wrist support and asked Brent to carefully unwrap it and take it off. As he did, several times she said “Be careful! Watch out!”

I figured she was in pain from his unwrapping. Finally, she said “Brent, you’ve got to be careful! Don’t you see the dog crap on my fingers?”

She had been working in the yard and had come in contact with some dog doo doo. She wanted the medical wrap removed so she could wash the stuff off but had neglected to tell Brent why she wanted him to remove it so carefully.

Stuff like this goes on all the time at their house.

And then there’s Calvin and my second post about him…

Brent told me when Calvin was three, he went around the house and wedged coins in between electrical plugs and wall sockets. The coins were suspended above where electrical plugs were plugged in.

He especially enjoyed donating pennies and dimes as his sisters were vacuuming.

When someone would pull the plug out, the coin would drop down and short out between the two prongs. There would be a big spark which tripped the breaker just after the plug-puller got a good scare. It left a black mark on the wall plate. Calvin must have considered the burn marks his trophies throughout the house.

How in the world would a three-year old dream this trick up? The answer lies in the Brent/Kashann gene pool. Their kids have this unique pool all to themselves. I think Calvin stayed in the pool way too long.

Earlier this year, Brent was trying to lay poly pipe out and having a tough time. I told him he should use one of my inventions. He agreed and here is the result with Calvin doing his best to be part of the action.


If you aren’t signed up as a blog Follower, do it now in case your name gets drawn Saturday.

Or, miss out on the bag of dough.


If you haven’t read my first post about Calvin, here it is…

Calvin The First




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