So I’ve been getting a $60 a month electric bill for a vacant building. There is no power being used so I ordered the service off last month. This made Franklin County PUD mad, I guess.

They sent me the final month’s bill. It was a little on the high side for doing nothing. $6829.81 to be exact.

Last year we used quite a bit of power. Around $4,000 worth as you can see by PUD’s own records. (Look at the graph!)

I’m assuming that last month one of the clerks figured she would get brownie points with the boss if she made a sales increase. When I ordered the shut-off, she decided it was now or never. A few little finger depressions on the keyboard and BAM! They got their sales increase.

I immediately Googled PUD power bills and the first newspaper headline that popped up read:

With monthly bills comes sticker shock for many PUD customers

So I guess I’m not the only one. I was going to call PUD and complain but I guess if everyone is getting these outlandish bills, my call won’t change anything. I guess the bright side is after looking closely at the bill, PUD has already charged our credit card. This means we’re going to get a bunch of air miles from the credit card people.

Now we can fly some place where the electric rates are cheaper.

However, I am a little worried that the cops are going to start sniffing around my place since I’ve had this big spike in my power bill. I’m sure they’ll figure I just started a new Mary Jane grow operation.

A finally, some good news…After reading up on electric companies, Franklin PUD has the following programs available for broke folks like me:

Budget payment plan–Helping hands

 FREE Energy Saving Kits are now available to Franklin PUD customers.

I’m sure both of these programs are going to help us get through this crisis. Now, I just have to worry about the sheriff’s office snooping around.

Since this is Thanksgiving month, I’ve been reminded of all of the blessings we get to enjoy in this country. Kind of a daily cornucopia.

Definition of Cornucopia…

a symbol of plenty consisting of a goat’s horn overflowing with flowers, fruit, and corn.

Incidently, I haven’t seen a goat’s horn for ages. The last goat’s horn I can remember was one my mom kept on our washer 50 years ago.

However, I have seen plenty of goat heads on a daily basis. These critters are usually deposited on our welcome mat just inside the front door as I traipse in at night from work. Without fail, that same evening, I always manage to pick up the deposits whilst in my stockinged or bare feet.

This makes for some interesting dialogue, new words our neighbors have never heard before and Olympic-record-style standing broad jumps. I initiate these broad jumps in hopes that upon landing there will not be another goat head waiting.

My cornucopia is different than most people’s. No flowers. No fruit. But corn? Oh yes, a cornucopia of corn. Semi-truck load after semi-truck load.

Corn harvest is always interesting. The truck drivers are nice and friendly guys and have been delivering for seven or eight years now.

One of them wears interesting tee-shirts. This last week his shirt read in bold letters: “I don’t want a job. I want money.”

Another is always hustling and seems to be in a hurry. As each load of corn dumps out of his truck, he tries to hurry up the process by banging on the side with his fist. I’m not sure if he thinks this will hurry up the corn being dumped or if it is just an outlet for his impatience.

I figured I would save his fist from possible future injury so I fetched a big sledge hammer and handed it to him. He looked at me like I was nuts. Since we have a big language barrier, he never has told me how the fist banging helps the unloading or why the hammer wouldn’t compliment the process.