A couple of weeks ago I posted a picture of a Seattle Sonics fan writhing on the ground. Here’s the link if you haven’t read it: A slight discomfort. Must be a hangnail or something.
The thing I remember most about this event was writhing on the concrete. I never went in to have it checked since I’m very familiar with broken bones and know more about broken bones than most docs in the biz.
I couldn’t get a shoe on for a few days after the initial crunching because of the swelling. When I went to church the next Sunday, I wore a thong. I must say it gathered quite a bit of attention.
After arriving home from church, I got a call from my good bishop. He politely told me that he had heard I wore a thong to church. He said he would let it pass this time but to never again show up for church again in a thong. I’m not sure why.
Lucky for me, since the swelling has gone down, I was able to get my shoe back on for church this week.
So I’m constantly hearing people claim one of two things:
- They (half the people) think I take on a lot of accidents just so I have something to write about. I deny this absurdity because I DO NOT LOOK FOR PAIN. Period. To be honest, I think pain is constantly looking for me.
- They (the other half of the people) think I fake accidents just to get people to feel sorry for me. I DO NOT NEED PEOPLE TO FEEL SORRY FOR ME. And taking on a boatload of pain just for sympathy is not my bag.
Actually, I think the reason I have so many accidents is because I get so much more work done when compared to the normal person. Therefore, it only stands to reason that since my work results skyrocket past Joe Average, so should my accident rate. Since I’m cranking out a workload that 50 normal people (or 300 govt’ employees) accomplish in a day, it only stands to reason that my accident rate would be higher than an average person compiles.
That, in a nutshell, is the reason. Super high performance necessarily calls for super high accident rates. And I don’t disappoint.
So today I recorded a replica of the accident I had a couple of weeks ago. Left footless shoe on same concrete, same motor, same force being exerted. Here is the video without any embellishment.
The only thing lacking this time is I didn’t have my foot in the shoe that got smashed. See, I do learn from previous incidents!
Please allow me to repeat the exact verbage…
Ouch! Doggoneit! Son of a revolver! Oh, Momma Mia!
For a more realistic reenactment, repeat phrases many and multiple times in a high-pitched and volume-turned-all-the-way-up voice and roll around on the concrete like you’re on fire.
Our daughter Meg and her family visited us this week from Phoenix. She treated us to a couple of days at Suncadia, a resort around Cle Elum.
Grandkids Sammy and Josie asked for a drink of water. I told them to get seated at the table.
Grandpa won’t disappoint them if they are obedient.
They got their water. On the table.
Too bad their arms are so short.