Recovering Idiot "Buy The Book"

Everyone who's bent needs a place to vent. This is my place.

Where you lead, I will follow.

Where you lead, I will follow.

This is the song I sing to my wife every time she decides to take a trip.

Coming home from Phoenix after spending Christmas with some of our kids, she took an unscheduled detour when we got off the plane in Salt Lake. She headed to Anchorage as her brother is struggling with pancreatic cancer. I decided not to follow. I came home and batched it for a week before flying back to Salt Lake to help her babysit a grand kid whose parents and siblings turned up missing.

Turns out they went on a cruise and ditched the young’un.

I met Michele coming back from Anchorage at the Salt Lake airport. I thought we were going to be in Utah for a few days but then was informed that we were going to be there for a week and a half. This tore up my work schedule but I guess the boss didn’t mind.

She’s the one that makes the arrangements. I just follow along. You’ll see why in a minute.

Just before I got on the plane in Pasco, I realized I really am an idiot. As I got out of my vehicle, I realized I had left my luggage at home, sitting by the door, waiting for me to grab it. I had been so intent on taking the garbage out, per boss lady’s instructions, I completely spaced out the necessary bag.

I knew I would be ridiculed by my dear wife for the next week and a half. I was not disappointed.

We got to Saratoga Springs, the site of our babysitting job and before I could make myself comfortable, I was instructed to head for the shopping area across the valley to buy some necessaries. That job was completed in good time.

The only snafu we had was some dude who didn’t speak much English called me and to make a long story short, he succeeded in getting my phone service shut off. Not just mine but my wife’s and my son’s and his wife’s and our daughter’s and her husband’s and our other son’s and our other son’s.

For the first time in their life, they learned what it’s like to go a day without a working electronic screen in your pocket or purse.

It also resulted in 8 lines being screwed up, 8 SIM cards invalidated and 10 IPhone 10’s being sent to an address in New York, courtesy of some idiot giving out his PIN number who happened to be standing in the Target store in American Fork, Utah at the time. Also, another $700 in charges got tacked on to my bill besides the IPhones. Oh, don’t forget about my password and billing address becoming non-existent.

As I walked out of Target in American Fork after the multi-national transaction had taken place, I was unaware of the ensuing conversations I was going to have with AT&T and at least 7 of their representatives. All I worried about as I tried to leave the store was which directions I should follow.  I was so confused I must have spent an hour in this very spot trying to decide what to do.


As I began to try to sort through the phone mess along with figuring out how to exit Target, a heavily accented AT&Tguy asked me what the guy sounded like that had done the scam on me. He said “I don’t mean to be racial but did he sound like he was from India or the Orient or…..”

I broke in. “I can’t tell you. All I can say is that I could barely understand him. In fact, it sounded a lot like you! It was you, wasn’t it? Why did you do that to me?”

I thought it was funny. Him? Not so much.

I guess I should add that all the time I was talking to the scammer (before the AT&T guys), my wife was telling me to hang up. For once, she was right and I was wrong.

So we drove the 15 miles home from Target. At least now I had my essentials even if I had lost my relationship with the phone company and my wife.

Immediately after I walked in the door, I realized I didn’t even have that. I had left my bag of goodies I bought from Target at….Target. I had to turn around and make another trip around the block. I got back 45 minutes later.

I began wondering where the nearest Alzheimer’s clinic might be and if they would let me in even if I didn’t have a valid AT&T password.

In my defense, the scam was well thought out and would have fooled anybody (who was not playing with a full deck.)



This is Michael, playing with his new Fish game that he had insisted for months that we bring him. The game we were going to let him play was back in Washington, locked up in my suitcase. The game you’re looking at was just purchased at Target in American Fork. I worried that maybe Mike is OCD since he had to have everything lined up nice and neat as you can see.

Those worries soon left.




This was Michael’s punishment for making a mess. I used my phone to pound the plastic stake through since I couldn’t use it for anything else.

We went to church for two weeks while in Utah. The first week, they asked me to introduce myself. I said I was from Basin City, WA and mentioned my luggage snafu. I told them the jeans and striped shirt I was wearing would probably be the same outfit I’d have on for church the next week. It was.

I didn’t say anything about the underwear and socks.

It’s hard going to a new church looking like a duck. Try doing it two weeks in a row.

The second week we noticed a family sitting across from us. There are six people in their family. All six were zoned into the net age through the meeting. That was a first for me.

I disfigured their appearance to prevent any recognition. I wonder what Martin Luther or Brigham Young would think about this new method of worship?


One night we had Michele’s cousin Sally and her husband Gene over for dinner. Michele and Sally were close growing up. I met Gene through rock and roll years before I met Michele.


Gene is an awesome musician. Guitar, steel guitar, mandolin, vocals…he can do it all.

He showed me some songs he has written, played the instruments and sang lead and harmonies. Have a listen…


One Reply to “Where you lead, I will follow.”

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: