Lots of stuff in the next few posts:

• Sent Danny Ainge some pilfered cherries. His people have been talking to my people ever since.
• Bike ride in Wenatchee
• Drank 16 lbs of water in 1 day
• Lost 23 lbs in 6 days
• Went to Phoenix
• Gained the weight back the next week
• Another bike crash

No more links to this site will be posted on Facebook. If you haven’t signed up as a RecoveringIdiot.com blog follower, you won’t get a “heads up” link via your email to this site. I’ve picked up a lot of followers and want to see how many non-followers drop off with no link to follow.

I sent Danny Ainge some pilfered cherries. His people have been talking to my people ever since.

I’m going to be publishing a large run of books. The first run was 1200 a couple of years ago and I’m about out of stock. The next run will be 5000 as a few opportunities to sell have moved into place. I’ve reached out to some high-profile individuals for book endorsements and have been somewhat successful.

If anyone out there in cyberspace has a connection with a high-profile person that they could talk into reading my book possibly endorsing it, let me know.

One of the people I was able to get in touch with was Danny Ainge’s wife, in hopes of getting his endorsement.

Danny was the only person ever to have been named high school All-American in football, basketball and baseball. He was an NBA star, coach and is now the Celtics General Manager.

I have a connection with the Ainge family thereby making our dialogue possible. We’ve talked and messaged back and forth. I sent her a book, hoping she and her husband could read it together.

I’ve got to say that she is a very nice lady, especially after I sent her some cherries I extracted from my brother.

She said that the pressure was greatly increased after the cherry bribe.

(The cherries were free, the next-day air service was not. Since I loaned him my forklift for cherry harvest, I doubt he’ll call the cops on me.)

I got a couple of nice thank-you’s from her after the arrival of the cherries but heard nothing for the next week concerning the progress of my book getting read.

The problem is I am in a hurry. (B&B Print always called me Ben Hur-ry whenever I walked through their door.) So I turned up the heat, against my wife’s advice.

I messaged Mrs. Ainge, asking her if they had flipped any pages yet.

I got the response I expected. Nothing.

I decided to push a little harder.

This trait of mine to push things till the make or break ending usually doesn’t turn out well. But I thought “What have I got to lose?” So I sent them the following letter:

Dear Danny and Michelle,

After listening to the loud silence following my last text inquiry, I realized that maybe cherry pressure might not be as great an idea as I initially supposed. As my book explains, time after time, I am a master at taking an idea and running with it after zero planning or forethought.

Without this (usually) undesirable trait, my book would be 3 or 4 pages max. But with this trait? Add another 520 pages.

However, you’ll have to admit a couple of good things came from this situation:

• You enjoyed some nice cherries from an even nicer guy in Washington State.
• Fed Ex enjoyed an unexpected windfall on their P&L a couple of weeks ago, at least in their Over-nite Cherry Transport Division. I have no regrets sending them and hope you enjoyed each one.

I know you both must be very busy and my arrival over the telephone lines with a 500+ page reading request was not in your plans for the summer. In fact, maybe it is a request that has already found it’s way into the little basket under your sink.

But before I walk away from this moment, I thought I would just touch base with you and see what your frame of mind concerning me and my proposal is. This would nail down the path I will follow as I get ready to start the presses rolling on the second edition and determine who my cover endorser will be.

Just so you don’t have to spend a lot of time replying, here’s a few ideas that you might respond with: (If you prefer, you can send me back just a number and I’ll match it to one of the following):

1. Ben, Thanks for the cherries! Sorry that you latched onto this endorsement idea. Please leave us alone. – D&M

2. Ben, You can use the following endorsement and stick it on the front cover: “Looks like a good book even though there’s not one basketball story in it. I didn’t have time to read it. Maybe you do.” – Danny Ainge, NBA…

3. Ben, I think you would be better off getting an endorsement from Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong-un. Better get a tattoo and a couple of piercings first. Best of luck! – Danny

4. Ben, Give me a month or two. I’ll try to get it read. Go Celtics! – Dan

5. Ben, Give me a year or two. I probably won’t read it. – D

If I didn’t nail it with one of these, you could write up your own, just so I know how to proceed in this, my careful planning phase, for the book.

I’ve been promised 3 endorsements so far…

Here’s the first endorsement I’ve gotten back:

“Ben lives life with gusto and an appetite for adrenaline.  He also marches to a unique and different tempo than most of us. This has resulted in many interesting and dangerous experiences that Ben shares with great zest and an entertaining story line. Growing up as Ben’s neighbor and friend, I always wondered what he was up to and how much the medical bill would be! 

Ben brings his stories to life and you are sure to get many smiles, chuckles and “What was he thinking?” during your journey along with Ben.  I highly recommend “Recovering Idiot”. Enjoy the adventure!”

Steve Phipps

19 Arm Wrestling World Championships – 9 Right, 10 Left (Including a rare “Double-Double” winning World Titles in Wrist wrestling and Arm wrestling with both arms the same year.)

Also, I might add that everything I’ve ever seen or heard from either of you, including our brief correspondence, has been top notch. Good luck with a healthier team next year!

Thanks,

Ben

So a few days of silence followed. I figured I’d burnt my bridges and there was no going back.

And then…

Here’s a note I got from her just this morning:

Ben,

So I was still in the hunt!

Just the fact that I’ve got a 5%-10% chance of success is great. Since my normal rate of success in life averages a little less than 1/2 of 1%. I’m figuring Danny Ainge is a shoo-in to endorse my book.

It’s interesting that Michelle is on page 167 and she expresses sympathy to my mom. Page 167 is right about the place where I meet my wife Michele. The next 367 pages detail the travails my wife had. I’m sure Michelle is going to be far more sympathetic to Michele than she was to my mom.

This coming week more posts will detail the following:

• Bike ride in Wenatchee
• Drank 16 lbs of water in 1 day
• Lost 23 lbs in 6 days
• Went to Phoenix
• Gained the weight back the next week
• Another bike crash

Remember:

No more links to this site will be posted on Facebook. A picture here and there but no links.

If you haven’t signed up as a RecoveringIdiot.com blog follower and you want to keep reading the news, you’d best sign up as a Follower on this page to get a “heads up” link via your email to this site. I’ve picked up a lot of followers and want to see how many non-followers drop off with no link to follow.

The link may or may not return on Facebook someday.

I will be placing a second order of books in a few weeks. I want some endorsements on the front and back covers for this new printing. I’ve got 1 endorsement already from Steve Phipps.  Here’s some pics and his endorsement:

(Steve is in the red in this last pic.)

 Ben lives life with gusto and an appetite for adrenaline.  He also marches to a unique and different tempo than most of us. This has resulted in many interesting and dangerous experiences that Ben shares with great zest and an entertaining story line. Growing up as Ben’s neighbor and friend, I always wondered what he was up to and how much the medical bill would be!  Ben brings his stories to life and you are sure to get many smiles, chuckles and “What was he thinking?” during your journey along with Ben.  I highly recommend “Recovering Idiot”.  Enjoy the adventure!

Steve Phipps – 19-time arm wrestling world champion, 9 right-handed and 10 left-handed (including a rare “Double-Double” winning World Titles in Wristwrestling and Armwrestling with both arms, the same year) 31 National Championships

Also, an 11-yr. NFL and CFL offensive lineman who now owns several book stores just finished reading Recovering Idiot and said he would be honored to endorse it. When I called him after he finished reading, he simply said “You’re crazy!”

One more endorsement is being sought at the moment and it’s a nationally prominent name. I’m amazed that this particular party is even communicating with me. I’ll let you know if it happens.

Because of the new printing, I was reading and re-editing portions of the book this afternoon causing reminiscing about the old days. Two things I read about were when my tongue got frozen on a hammer when I was two and when I woke up from a coma exactly 50 years ago tomorrow. So what do you think happened next?

 I retrieved a pan of jello and a spoon from the freezer. Without thinking, I stuck the spoon in my mouth and the spoon instantly attached to my tongue with Super Glue adhesion. I had no plan of reenactment. I just wanted to eat some crunchy jello, not have my mouth filled with blood. I wrenched it off which tore the heck out of my tongue. I don’t know if you can see the damage but I can sure feel it.

Next, I turned the news on and learned that exactly 50 years ago today, RFK was assassinated. That was the newspaper headline I saw on my bed stand as I came out of my coma exactly 50 years ago.

I don’t mind tearing the buds off my tongue every 61 years. However, I hope it’s at least another 50 years before I have to wake up from another coma.

Available on Amazon and at Country Mercantile stores.

This has been quite a week and I’m not even half through it yet. Today I decided to bike to work which is an 9-mile journey. The return trip home feels like 15 or 20 miles since it has a couple of hills. The darn county should have designed the road so that both ways were on a downgrade.

I bike on the left side of the road so at least I can get the spectator benefits just before I die. Riding with traffic leaves me completely vulnerable and unaware if a rig decides to rear-end me. I want to have at least a fighting chance to veer away from oncoming traffic. I’ve read of far too many bikers taken out from traffic behind them. You have no clue what’s going on behind you and bike mirrors are too little, too late.

Case in point. I’d made it about 3 miles down the road today and a girl going at least 60 mph was too busy texting and headed onto the shoulder where I was pedaling. I swerved off the road and yelled but I don’t think Miss Clueless even saw the near miss. I wasn’t all that happy but figured I’d beat the odds and shouldn’t have any more trouble. Today at least. I guess I was a little clueless too.

So as I pedaled home today, I noticed a car pulling out of the local store. I figured he saw me but I think I’m going to quit make those kind of assumptions. He headed right for me without stopping before entering the roadway.

I laid my bike over and smacked down on the pavement. My two stubs caught the brunt of it, along with my still sore knee and a few other random areas of epidermis. Luckily, the young guy must have seen a flash going down. My front tire was under his car with my handlebars cozyied right against his bumper. I wasn’t happy and after I got up from lying on the pavement, I informed him of my feelings.

He apologized several times. I got on my machine and tried heading down the road one more time. Luckily, I was almost home so I arrived without incident.

Stick around for just one more little incident I had while at work. I’m loaning my brother a forklift for cherry harvest and decided to be a nice guy and run it up to his house. I took my bike with me so I could ride back down to work.

After parking the lift, I mounted the bike and started down the hill. Since it’s a fairly steep and pothole packed road, I decided to turn my camera on with it in my shirt pocket just in case there was any action along the way. I guess I’m not surprised to say there was.

After I built up a head of steam, I noticed a car coming out toward the road. At first I was sure they were going to stop but I moved over just in case. No such luck.  As each nano-second ticked by, I got scare-der and scare-der.

I quickly flipped the switch that turned my road bike into an off-road bike and headed for the tullies. I think I did a little yelling and then continued on my merry way. I had a lot of momentum built up and I didn’t want to waste the kenetic energy by stopping to gab so I just kept going, counting my lucky stars I was still able to pedal. Beside that, my motor was running a little hot and I needed some wind to cool it down.

In retrospect, I should never have run that race depicted in the previous post for the following reasons:

• My sister Jill is at least 25 years younger than I. She also is not in her third trimester like I am. Let’s just wait until she gets in her sixties and then see how she does.
• I reviewed the slow-motion tapes from yesterday and saw what the problem is. My right knee wasn’t working and therefore, as my nephew Phil said, I was running on stilts. A more apt description is running on a peg leg. The doc told me in December it was ready for replacement but I held him off. I think I was thinking I needed to get ready for the Memorial Day race and I didn’t want a fake knee messing me up.

• This particular knee that won’t bend and is full of fluid is also the one that I smacked into the ground as I lunged across the finish line. Jill claimed that her toe crossed first but that only works in short track skating and ballet.

• The rest of us all know that if a runner or in my case, “hopper” lunges across the finish line and his knee hammers into the ground, provided the pain level is 10 or more, he wins.
• I won.
• One more thing. Eight years ago Jill and I raced. I pulled a hamstring (or, as those of us who are in the business, call it a “hammie”) but showed her who was boss even without planting my kneecap into the sod.

• What a difference eight years can make.
• Lastly. I can’t get enough of watching the video of me crowding Jill while her husband with the nickname of Tracy is filming. He yells at her to quit crowding me right while I’m crowding her. I hope I live to be 101. I could watch that twice a day for the next 38 years and never get tired of it.

“Spread out a little bit!

Spread out!

No, Jill! Jill! Jill!

Scoot over! Hurry Up!

You guys are messing my….”

When I watch this part, my knee hurts just a little less. Thanks, Tracy!

Every year since 2004, our family heads for the Richland cemetery on Memorial Day to visit Dad and Mom.

This year we had a little problem. When I arrived I found my brother-in-law Todd directly on top of the burial plot he purchased a while back. Todd has been fighting cancer for awhile so this was not a total shock. I asked my sister Lisa what had happened and I thought she said he had passed.

I decided Memorial Day was a good day to make the transition and thought Todd looked pretty comfortable. That’s exactly how I want to go, I thought.

However, I was a little bugged that one of my other sisters started picking his pockets even before the buzzards arrived.

If any law enforcement officers are interested, her name is Teresa.

Even Todd’s grandson got in on the action.

But then when we snapped the family picture, I noticed Todd had jumped up and smiled for the camera. I got a little perturbed at Lisa for the bad information she gave me until she told me my hearing is bad. She claimed she said “Todd is gassed.” and figured I would understand he just needed a little nap.

I’m not sure he ever got his wallet back from Teresa. My guess is no.

Some of you may remember a few Memorial Days ago, I raced my younger sister Jill and cleaned her clock. I also tore a hamstring.

She wanted a rematch today. I agreed. Notice in this video where we are getting ready to race. I kept crowding her to make her nervous. I always get a kick out of it. I’ve been using this tactic for 50 or 60 years now just to keep her off-kilter. Her husband Tracy is yelling all the instructions at her to spread out even when I kept encroaching.

We both ignored him.

Also, every Memorial Day I wear this 60’s style hat of Dad’s just for old time’s sake.

This was not a great race day for me. But I still think I won.

The old knees don’t work like they used to.