I arose this morning around 5:00 pm am. Sorry, I usually get up in the pm.
The day was looking grand as I puttered around. I complimented myself on the “likes” I had gotten on my latest post titled:
Big Corona Misunderstanding At The Door
That hardly ever happens but when it does, I know it’s a good post.
The day was also looking good. That is, until I took a quick look at my blog messages. I was instantly horrified. The last post I made referenced an encounter I had with a man who, in the past was of somewhat large stature. This encounter occurred at our front door the previous night. The message I got this morning said “I was never 400 lbs.”
I was horrified! Our visitor had just read about his visit and the fact that I had said that at one time I thought he was around 400 lbs. I knew it was insensitive and politically incorrect. I felt terrible. I knew I was got to have to make a Part 2 to explain and apologize my way out of Part 1. Here’s the nuts and bolts of the Part 1 post that I made the other night and quickly deleted this morning after getting the weight correction…
Big Corona Misunderstanding At The Door (Part 1)
Last night my wife mentioned a guy was going to be stopping by to borrow one of her musical instruments. I had met him several times in the past at musical sorties, fiddle jams and other musical wing dings.
From what I remembered, he stands a good 5’10”. He weighed a good 400 pounds and was a good 5’10” side to side. I am not kidding. He’s a nice guy and really throws his weight around. About the only time he’s not throwing his weight around, he’s sitting still or lying down.
An hour later I had totally forgotten the reminder about our borrowing visitor. A knock sounded and I went to answer it. I might mention my wife and I are old codgers now. Because I’ve had pneumonia 8 or 10 times in the past, I’m figuring if I get the Kung Flu, I’m toast. So we are trying to be careful about not getting too close to anyone who might be packing the martial arts virus.
I opened the door and a guy in his forties was on the other side. I had no clue who he was or what he was up to. He was probably 185 lbs and smiling as he took a step into our Corona beer-free and virus-free abode. My dander went up instantly. I didn’t recognize him as anyone other than a stranger who was trying to infect me by marching forward through the doorstep and instantaneously closing the much-less-than-six-feet distance between us.
I yelled “Hold it right there!” I put my hands up to show him he was not welcome.
He kept coming! I couldn’t believe that this dangerous stranger was proceeding into my up-to-then sanitary home. My anti-Kung Flu stance took over my entire body and I immediately sprang into action.
I took two steps back.
His friendly smile started evaporating. He said “But I’m here to pick up the…” Then I realized who he was. It was not the quarter-ton dude that I had met in years past. It was a trim and nice-looking guy who I began looking at with a bit more trust. At least I knew who I was dealing with now.
About then my wife appeared after hearing all my frenzied yelling at her visitor. She was horrified at the way I had greeted him. She recognized him but instantly commented “Wow! You are a little skinnier than the last time I saw you.”
He then explained how surgery was his last gasp at losing weight and staying alive. I quit worrying so much about the flu he might be carrying and started reminiscing about the song Staying Alive my band and I used to play back in the ’70’s. It was a great dance tune… Staying Alive
I handed him the instrument, complimented him on his trim physique and bid adieu. Closing the door, I breathed a sigh of relief, standard procedure whenever I have had a close call with the Grim Reaper. I then went in and washed my hands for 20 seconds, just in case.
Now we’ll get back to the more recent Part 2.
Big Corona Misunderstanding At The Door (Part 2)
Back to the present. Here is the texting dialogue that I and the guy I had labeled a 400 pounder (otherwise known as Joe) had this morning…(My comments are in the blue. Blue rhymes with doo-doo, stew and stupid. I was in all those items.)
I began my text in an embarrassed and apologetic mood…
It was a pretty crazy run of emotions this morning. I’m glad Joe is a forgiving and level-headed guy.
When I made the blog the other day, I needed a picture. I Googled “Fat guy trying to get through a door” and this is the picture I got…
The Google pic looks a lot like my front door friend used to look. I thought about posting the picture but then realized that since they looked somewhat similar, I better not.
(Here is an actual picture of my Kung Flu friend from yesteryear…)
Here is a recent picture of Joe…
His grandpa Arlo was a wonderful guy and one of my propane customers in his golden years. I see Joe’s dad and uncles in the temple often. A great family.
Thanks, Joe for being a nice guy!
And to be brutally honest, I look a lot more like the old Joe than the new Joe does.